I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
