Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We need to get me chipped asap
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
