Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
