some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
