Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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