the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
His nipple licking is glorious
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