Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
handjob tips. give me some.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
