i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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