That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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