you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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