You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
