1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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