Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You dont lie about slip and slides
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
