Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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