CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
