I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
