dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
