If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
