Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
