we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
