Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
