sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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