I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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