i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
