mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
