If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
