I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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