I want to have your abortion
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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