He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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