I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
home. puking in laundry basket.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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