My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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