we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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