therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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