Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
