The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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