I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
