We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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