Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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