Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
