Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
