C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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