he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
