FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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