I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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