She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize