and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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