Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
where am i from again
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
