Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So here I am, sexting at work.
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