call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
