Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't put those talents on a resume
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
wow bdsm is so cute
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
