I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
