The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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