You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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