Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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