if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
