my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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